Moving in with your partner is a big step. It’s a decision that goes beyond just your living arrangements. You need to consider other pressing things, such as your readiness for the commitment and your expectations from the relationship. Beyond just getting your DMCI Homes Leasing Services sorted out, make sure you have all the other essentials covered. Allow this moving in together guide to help you out.
You’re feeling the jitters
You know you are ready to move in together if the thought makes you feel jittery. Feeling nervous means you are mature enough to realize that you are making a decision of big magnitude. The fact that you are not taking it lightly means that you recognize its implications and possible repercussions. You are not just some wide-eyed, innocent person blindly giving in to a romantic whim.
You’re not feeling any pressure
A life decision of such magnitude should not be borne out of some external pressure, not from society nor from your friends, family or partner. You should be doing it on your own volition. You should be feeling giddy about the idea and should be jumping into it because you want to. If you are not sure it is what you want, wait it out and see if you still want to do it after giving it a lot of thought (and time!).
The thought of giving up your current life scares you
You know you are in a healthy relationship when you are fine on your own but you still want him/her in your life all the same. If you are only with your partner because you are currently in a vulnerable, needy state, then there’s a chance you could end up in a toxic relationship. You’ll know you are ready to cohabitate with someone when you love your current life so much the thought of leaving it scares you.
It’s not a substitute for marriage
Moving in with someone as a substitute for marriage is never a good idea. You must be so sure of your partner that you’d be willing to marry her/him if that’s what you were after. Otherwise, you both should take the time to date and get to know each other more.
You’ve survived major disagreements
If you have had a major fight but recovered from it, it’s a sign that you could weather more storms that could come your way. It is inevitable for two people living together to have major disagreements. How you deal with it is what matters. If you could handle conflicts in healthy ways, then you may indeed have found your partner for life.
You know where you stand
Before you take any serious step forward, make sure you have properly defined the relationship. Have you had the “What are we?” talk? You may feel you know just what you have, but it is different when you’ve deliberately put a label on it. Not being able to talk openly about things like this does not bode well for your relationship, so make sure you have this out of the way.
You’ve traveled together
Traveling together for a relatively long time offers an experience that could serve as a little experiment. It’s almost like a mini living together test drive. If you’ve traveled extensively, spent a lot of time together, and enjoyed it, you’d likely have the same experience living together.
If you haven’t traveled together, give it a go before taking the plunge. Travel to a new place for a week or so and spend all your time together.
You address problems head-on
Look at the problems you and your partner have. How do you handle them? Do you confront them head-on or do you sweep them under the rug? Problems have a way of going out of proportion when people start living together. If you and your partner are able to address problems in healthy ways, then you two may be ready to share a space.
You spend a lot of time together
You are ready to move in if you are currently spending at least four nights a week together. This should already give you an idea of what it’s like to wake up with him by your side. If you do not spend as much time together, you may want to give it a try. A trial run will give you a feel of what living together will be like and if it will actually work for you.
It has nothing to do with finances
If you are moving in together to save on rent and other such expenses, you may not be doing the big change for a good reason. This relationship milestone should not be centered on practical matters like fusing together living expenses. It should be motivated for the right reasons. A good reason will be because your relationship has matured, and you’re both ready to take it to another level.
You’ve discussed your deal-breakers
You need to talk about your deal-breakers before moving in together. The last thing you need is to take the effort to move in, only to find out later that he has habits you cannot live with. Is messiness your major pet peeve? Are there specific online viewing habits you find unacceptable. Be open to talk about these things so you can avoid unwanted surprises.
You’re beyond the honeymoon phase
Sure your partner can make you swoon, but it’s not in your best interest to make the big decision while you are still starry-eyed. The honeymoon phase can run from six months to a year. You know the honeymoon phase is over when you have started to deal with the everyday mundane things. Your relationship has gone beyond the exciting phase, but you love it anyhow. You live for the times when you can just stay in your DMCI condo doing everyday stuff with your partner by your side.
You’ve openly talked about your expectations
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is not talking about what cohabitating really means. This discussion should go beyond just your condo arrangement and when you will be moving in. It should include your expectations as two people sharing a life together. Unmet expectations are one of the biggest relationship killers, so it’s best to have this all figured out.
Living together can be a very inviting prospect when you are all starry-eyed and giddily in love. Do not get carried away by the butterflies in your stomach, and have all the essential ingredients for a successful cohabitation covered. Enjoy your life together!